Naptime struggles (why doesn't my baby appreciate sleep like I do?)

Sometimes it's hard not to get angry with my baby, as sweet as he is. Yesterday he went to daycare again for a few hours. And I don't know how they do it, but he only went twice and those two times they managed to just put him down. And he slept. He wriggled a little, but slept. For an hour. Even more.
While I can not complain about the nights, I still struggle to make him sleep during the day. Maybe it's my fault, I've rocked him to sleep right from the start (as in the beginning the poor thing had cramps that were visibly painful and annoying. Warmth and movement made it better.) And now I admit I still do, or end up doing that. Quite often it only takes minutes, as I've learned how to recognize him being tired. I've tried to put him down tired but awake. Thousands of times. On his back he cries and keeps crying OR he gets very much awake again smiling at me trying to sooth him. On his belly does work. Sometimes. Rarely. He moves his little head from side to side as if he cannot decide on what side to sleep on. I know he does that because rubbing his nose into something soft and warm helps him to fall asleep. But way too often, all that shaking gets him frustrated and awake again all over. Sigh.
So when they told me he had slept without a glimpse of a problem both days he went to daycare, next time he had to take a nap I nearly yelled at him because I KNEW he could do it, he just didn't.
Probably when he goes full days, they'll encounter the problem too. And frankly I don't care how they'll handle it. They can let him cry for a while if they want to. I've tried that one too, only to hear volume rising. Maybe I should've sticked to it at that time, but I find it VERY hard to hear my little boy cry. I know it will be necessary some day. He'll try to bribe me with his tears. And I know I won't give in. I have no problem with putting boundaries (I'm a teacher, I do that constantly).
But for now, he can fall asleep in my arms, if he wants to. I'll try to put him away every time first, and it might work occasionally. But I'm secretly counting on daycare to enforce it.

And he'll do just fine.

Change is good, ... isn't it?

In the eleven weeks I am a mother now, I've learned that the moment I tell someone my son usually does this or that, he changes up everything. So two days ago he went to daycare for the first time, a few hours to get used to it (he had great fun, I sobbed the whole way to the supermarket). I told them that he's a very restless sleeper and prefers to lay on his belly. I usually rock him a little until his eyes stay more or less closed. Maybe not the best habit ever, but hey, it's my first time, he'll grow up anyway.

So right after his bottle they put him on his belly and haven't heard him for at least an hour. So far my concerns. Yesterday my sister told me how many layers she puts on her son when he goes to sleep. I decided to try an extra layer at night and he slept through the night as if he never had done differently. I won't hold my breath though, 'cause tonight he might change his mind again. And since we bought a sensor mat, so he could sleep on his belly during the night, he decided his back was fine too.

Oh well. He's adorably cute. At least that doesn't change.

Shop till you... find something. Anything.

Today I went on my first post-pregnancy shopping trip. Actually it was my second one, but the first time I went to town I wasn't in the mood at all and I ended up in a bookstore (which is always nice of course, but not entirely the purpose of my trip). This time I went with my sister to one specific shop. I'm happy with what I ended up with, but boy, this was one very interesting afternoon. I think I'll have no choice but to invest in some nice shapewear. I've never had problems with how I look, but I have to admit that pregnancy was somewhat devastating. I gained A LOT of weight, especially at the end, and in the last month stretch marks popped up practically everywhere. So trying on clothes was a whole different experience, compared to what it was before (our boys are only two months apart). Luckily my sister is going through the same, so there was a lot of support (and giggles).


And then we treated ourselves to some shameless shopping for our little boys.

Being a mother: five lessons learnt

Being a mother, lesson one:
don't think you'll have time to do anything during maternity leave. To blog, for example. By the time you finally figure out how your baby works and what his schedule looks like, you'll have to go back to work. Or he changes it all up again. But hey, you'll be OK. You'll learn to take a shower during the 30 minutes he sleeps, and to finally shave your legs next to the relax, hoping you're not traumatizing him for life. But then he gave you his cutest smile, so you forgive him for keeping you from combing your hair properly (saves a lot of money on volume shampoo though).

Being a mother, lesson two:
hormones are still alive and kicking. Movies with parents who die, or little children who are left alone, or any documentary about any subject related to human or animal suffering or happiness make you cry. Songs too, for that matter. And you still forget a lot of stuff. Like the name of colleagues you've worked with barely three months ago. Not to talk about those of your students. I'm going back to work in about one week, and I think I'll have to study. Hard.

Being a mother, lesson three:
you won't have much sleep. Even if you nap when your baby does, you're still paying attention to every little sound he makes, or looking at him, completely in love, knowing very well you should close your eyes and seize the occasion. But you'll learn, you'll learn.

Being a mother, lesson four:
cooking requires a lot of preparation. Divide and conquer. Usually my meals are prepared in five steps. Peeling potatoes, cutting up veggies, and stuff like that are done at any possible moment when the little one is either asleep or happy in his relax or on someone else's lap.

Being a mother, lesson five:
phones always ring at the most inconvenient moments and secretly you're glad that most of your colleagues and friends don't come over to visit as they said they would. You become a little bit selfish when it comes to your baby, and you're not even ashamed about it.




Never let those parents who sigh about how hard it is mislead you though : it still rocks!!